We’ve all been there—questioning ourselves, doubting our worth, replaying every little thing we said in a relationship. But let’s get one thing straight: sometimes it’s not you at all. Sometimes, it’s him. If you constantly feel like you’re the villain in a story you didn’t even write, it might be because he’s toxic and gaslighting you into believing you’re the problem. Here are the biggest signs to watch out for:
đźš© 1. He twists everything into being your fault
Did you call him out for not texting back for two days? Suddenly, you’re “too needy.” Did you bring up his flirty behavior? You’re “paranoid.” If every conversation leaves you questioning reality, that’s not love—that’s manipulation.
đźš© 2. He minimizes your feelings
Whenever you’re upset, he tells you you’re being “too sensitive” or that you’re “overreacting.” Spoiler alert: your feelings are valid, and the right guy wouldn’t dismiss them.
đźš© 3. He never apologizes (or gives fake apologies)
A toxic man will say things like, “I’m sorry you feel that way” instead of owning up to his actions. Translation: he’s not actually sorry—he just wants you to shut up.
đźš© 4. He makes you doubt yourself
Gaslighters are pros at making you second-guess your memory, your instincts, and even your sanity. If you keep wondering, Am I crazy?—newsflash, babe, you’re not. He just wants you to think you are.
đźš© 5. He controls through guilt
He acts like everything he does for you is a sacrifice, and you should feel guilty for wanting more. That’s not love—that’s manipulation.
đźš© 6. He criticizes more than he compliments
Instead of uplifting you, he points out your “flaws” constantly—your outfits, your friends, your career choices. A man who truly loves you will hype you up, not tear you down.
đźš© 7. He makes you afraid to speak up
If you feel like you’re walking on eggshells, terrified of his reaction, that’s a huge sign he’s the problem. Love should feel safe, not scary.
đźš© 8. He shifts blame during fights
Arguments turn into him deflecting everything back onto you. He forgot your birthday? You didn’t remind him. He disrespected you in public? You’re “too dramatic.” Classic toxic behavior.
đźš© 9. He rewrites history
You clearly remember what he said last week, but suddenly he swears he “never said that.” This is a manipulation tactic to make you question your reality.
🚩 10. He acts like you’re “lucky” to have him
He constantly reminds you of all the ways he puts up with you—like you should be grateful he’s even around. No, sis. HE should be grateful for you.
đź‘‘ The Bottom Line
If you see yourself in these signs, know this: it’s not you, it’s him. Healthy love doesn’t make you feel small, confused, or like you’re losing your mind. Real love lifts you up, makes you feel safe, and brings out the best in you.
So don’t let him gaslight you into thinking you’re the problem. You’re not. You’re the prize—and if he can’t see that, he doesn’t deserve you. ✨
Glowminded 
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